Captainbutty

Life's a bitch.

untilyourbreathingst0ps:

pearls:

pearls:

i touched a dick once and it was the scariest thing in my life because it had a really cold head and i don’t know it wasn’t fun

sometimes the ‘i’ and ‘u’ shouldn’t be so close on the keyboard 

ive seen this post umpteen times and ive always thought that if you switched u and i around it wouldn’t make sense like “u touched a” and i literally just realised you meant duck and not dick i swear to god i am the biggest fucking idiot.

(Source: gingerbreadlou, via h-i-l-a-r-i-o-u-s)

mezzalunanova:

raspberrying:

Anxiety really cramps my style like how am I going to seem chill and fun if I often start trembling and breathing heavily and developing a look of impending doom in my eyes

If Iron Man can do it, so can I

(via 0342041)

hi:

to everyone with finals and exams and big projects due very very soon and haven’t started anything yet

image

(via ermagherdlerki)

zizino:

hi:

food will last approximately 6.4 seconds in front of me the second it’s put down, i ain’t got no time to instagram any of that

not trying to make this about me but i look really cute here

image

(via tyleroakley)